Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I see through liars

Why do I feel worthless most of the time?

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

A Closer Look At Uranus’s Moons Reveals a Surprising Dark Side - Gizmodo

I can read

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

I don’t buy bullshit

Which scene is considered the most difficult to watch in each of Quentin Tarantino's movies?

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I have complete contempt for fakery

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

What made you recently say to yourself, “Wait. Really?”

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I have complete contempt for traitorism

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

Was there a British ‘genocide’ of Aboriginal Australians?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I don’t cotton to rapists

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

Isn't it a turn on to have sex with a girl in a skirt or in a tight spandex?

I can count

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

Why are the bands Smashmouth and Nickelback often used as punchlines?

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light

Why aren't there any Indian girls married to Chinese guys but Chinese girls married to Indian guys?

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I actually pay taxes

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

What are some examples of a threat to democracy in India?

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

Why are most people broke?

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

What would Spanish sound like if only latin and Greek words were used, like some romance analogy to anglish?

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

What are some sad truths about life?

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I know who the president of Turkey really is

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

I have a reading level above third grade

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones